Marshmallows
After a glorious weekend of camping with friends (beautiful weather, hiking, boating, playing and relaxing with friends), I asked my children what the best part of the weekend was for them. I imagined it might be sleeping in a tent with mom and dad, or having two straight days to play with their friends all day and night, or even climbing the rocks way up high.
No such luck from my daughter, who answered, “Eating Marshmallows.” Not even ROASTING Marshmallows, not even MAKING and eating s’mores. No. Just plain “eating marshmallows.” I quickly reminded her of all the other fabulous EXPERIENCES we had, and all the fun she had with her friends. Yes, she agreed, those were all great fun, but still, she insisted: Eating marshmallows was the best part of the trip. There was no talking her out of it.
There is no talking a child out of their love for a sugary treat (especially a child who knows that her mom isn’t a huge fan of said treat). After I took a breath and got over the injury to my ego (“what about the oatmeal pancakes? What about the grass fed hamburger?” “How can you love marshallows when I teach people how to help their kids eat better???”), I was able to realize that this was pretty much all it was: a 4-year old declaring her affection for something that is not part of her regular menu. A 4-year old declaring her independence from her mom in a small (but not insignificant) way. A 4-year old who has not yet learned what foods work best for her body, but is responding to the enticing and addictive pull of ultrasweet, processed foods.
So what’s the answer to this all-too-common dilemma that many of us face? To have marshmallows in the house so our children don’t crave them? No, I don’t think that’s it. To forbid them from eating marshmallows altogether? No, not that either. Perhaps to make marshmallows (and other food in that category) “sometimes food” (“marshmallows are for when we go camping, not every day”), and to continue to educate our children (“because they have a lot of sugar, which isn’t so good for our bodies and our brains”), in age appropriate ways, about what foods best nourish their bodies and what foods don’t.
Finally, maybe we need to validate our children’s love for marshmallows or ice cream or whatever it is, just like we do when our children do something that we do support. When my son said the best part of the trip was hiking up the falls, I responded that he seemed to really feel comfortable with the challenging climbing, and I was so glad he enjoyed it. In retrospect, what I wish I said to my daughter, was, “yes, you seemed to love those marshmallows. I can see why – they taste yummy! When I was a little girl, I loved that part of camping too.” I mean, really, who doesn’t like a gooey marshmallow (especially melted over chocolate)??? (shh…don’t tell my daughter, but I may go see if we have any leftovers…)
